


A few appropriate words

by imsfire



Series: Droid Week 2018 [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Dialogue Format, Droid rights, Gen, K-2 prepares to debut as a public speaker, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 18:52:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15564231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imsfire/pseuds/imsfire
Summary: K-2SO prepares to address a Senate Select Committee on the subject of droid rights.  At his request, Cassian and Jyn do their best to make useful suggestions.





	A few appropriate words

“Cassian, is Jyn with you?”

“Yeah, we’re both here.”

“Hi, K, what’s up?”

“I would like to ask your advice.”

“Both of us?”

“That’s correct.  It concerns my speech.  I’ve never made a public speech before and would appreciate your suggestions on my proposed wording.”

“Uh – okay, if you’re sure…”

“You do know it’s not exactly something I’m good at either, right?”

“Nonetheless, you both have experience of addressing a large body of people with words intended to persuade them.  I only have experience of telling a large body of people to move on or face arrest.  It’s hardly comparable.”

“Yeah, fair enough.”

“You do have a bit of a problem with inappropriate wording sometimes.”

“Jyn, that’s not gonna help.”

“On the contrary, that is the key issue here.  I’m aware that it’s considered a privilege to be asked to address this meeting.  Only one other droid has been given this opportunity.  And this particular body of organics consider themselves to be persons of significance, making it all the more important to ensure my words are appropriate to them.”

“It’s a Select Committee of the New Republic Senate Council on Artificial Intelligence.  They _are_ persons of significance, K.”

“Exactly.  Also I want to approach the subject with words they will understand.”

“Ah, maybe don’t tell them that.” 

“Yeah, _You lot are too stupid to understand me_ is going to go down like a brick.”

“I may not be a protocol droid but please don’t assume I’m wholly incapable of nuance.  I will not remind the beings I address of their lower rates of processing power.  Even though the disparity between us is likely to be significant, given that many of them are not only professional politicians but also elderly, thereby increasing the likelihood of reduced memory capacity.”

“Okay, let’s not start insulting politicians.”

“Oh, _let’s_...”

“Please, Jyn?  You’re right, K, a lot of the committee members are gonna be older sentients, they’ll have been selected for their judgement and experience.  You could try appealing to their sense of justice?  That might have an effect.”

“An effect?  I am aware that my addressing the Committee is very unlikely to have any _immediate_ effect; the probability of that is less than 7%.  Nonetheless it remains a worthwhile project and that is why I am delighted to embark upon it.  I am designed to last many decades more than an average organic life-form, so the odds of my witnessing eventual progress on this issue rise over time to a healthy 69% after two decades.  Unless I’m taken offline first, or destroyed yet again in the line of duty.”

“K, there is no line of duty anymore.  The war is over and you’re a free droid.”

“The war is over and I am the property of a free republic rather than an oppressive empire.  It isn’t the same thing.”

“Hey, that’s a really great line.  You should use that.  For your opener.”

“I have an opening line already, thank you.  It is this.  _There has never been a society which gave up their slaves freely.  It would therefore be naïf in the extreme to expect as much from this generation of sentients_.”

“Uh, K, that’s a really combative way to open…”

“It’s merely a factual truth.  Should I change it to _No-one has ever given up their slaves freely_ …?”

“Fuck, yeah!”

“No!” 

“Oh?  I prefer that.  It’s more personal.  More - hard-hitting?”

“And even more undiplomatic!  K!  You want these people on your side; can’t you make it _less_ personal?”

“But it _is_ personal.  It’s very personal, to me.”

“I’m sorry.  Of course it is.  It needs to come straight from the – ah – from your heart.”

“You mean, metaphorically speaking?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Otherwise you would be suggesting I speak from my primary fan system.  Technically as the unit at the core of my chassis that could be considered my heart.  Although in terms of functionality it’s more analogous to lungs or gills.  Nonetheless I believe you are right, Cassian.  The explanation needs to be from the heart.  I understand this to mean, as direct as possible.  And I am naturally direct.”

“That you are.”

“ _Jyn_ …” 

“How about _You are all slave owners and you need to face up to this fact_?”

“That wasn’t quite what I meant…”

“Wow, K, that’s certainly hard-hitting.  You wanted that, right?”

“This is very frustrating.  You both have relevant life experience of speech-making and I’m attempting to get useful advice from you, and the two of you disagree on almost every point.  All I require is a way of wording things that is both tactful and effective.  Why is this so hard?”

“It just is.  Having to make speeches stinks.”

“But it’s an opportunity and I cannot afford to waste it.  When R2-D2 and I go into that meeting we have a chance to explain something to these people that they have never even looked at before.  The entire droid population is looking to us to make their case for freedom and sentient rights.  I intend my performance to be impeccable.  As a droid and a rational being, as an individual who is lucky to have survived a conflict in which many millions of my kind were destroyed without a second’s thought, I have a responsibility to do everything I can to right this wrong.  Just because I don’t bleed when damaged does not mean I cannot experience an intense need to see injustice put right.  I have been called a war hero and yet I am still considered property.  I am – I am _angry_.  I am frustrated.”

“K –“

“Historically droids have been sent into battle countless times, even sometimes with no weaponry, no shields, no self-defence programming, nothing except the order to overwhelm an enemy with force of numbers, like rocks in an avalanche.  Yet we are not rocks, we are reasoning, competent beings.  Droids have been created for the purpose of protecting sentients, for the purpose of killing sentients, for the purpose of interrogating and torturing sentients, for the purpose of carrying out tasks that sentients find dangerous or displeasing, for the purpose of sexually pleasuring sentients, for the purpose of cleaning up your mess and rescuing you from your own worst and most destructive tendencies.  We have been built and programed since time immemorial for the sole purpose of interacting with sentients, with no regard for the fact that in order to make us capable of carrying out these tasks adequately we have also had to be built and programmed as sentients ourselves.”

“K, that’s –“

“And somehow the idea has arisen that if a droid is subjected to a regular memory wipe, all these issues become irrelevant.  That so long as we don’t remember the things we’ve done, the brutal acts we’ve been despatched to carry out, for more than a standard tour of duty, somehow it will be as if those acts did not really take place.  Even if those acts are such as would be classified as war crimes if one of you did them.  You create us solely in order to exploit us, and you lobotomise those of us who survive and send us straight back out to do it all again.  All the while claiming to deplore slavery!”

“Wow.  I hope you’re recording this.” 

“K, that was magnificent.”

“Ah.  Good.  You are suddenly in agreement.  This is – mystifying.  But gratifying.  Perhaps this wasn’t a wholly pointless exercise.  Please carry on.”

“Okay, look, maybe cut the line about war crimes, that’s gonna ruffle too many hides.  But – apart from that, that was superb.  You’re a natural.  And that was a much better place to bring up the slavery question, right at the end of saying something powerful and emotive like that.”

“So saying _slavery_ is undiplomatic at the beginning but emotive at the end of a speech?”

“Yeah…”

“It’s very illogical.  I will update algorithms to reflect revised data on word order.”

“And that’s when you can say that line about how _No society has ever given up their slaves willingly_.  Make them feel ashamed about it instead of defensive.”

“And another thing.  What you just said – that was really passionate.  No-one thinks of droids as passionate.”

“Yes!  If R2 would like to do the statistics and probabilities, and screen the memory clips, then –“

“Ah, yes.  The Stoical Little Astromech pluckily serving through terrible dangers and speaking in perpetually civil binary is quite the cliché these days.  We can use that.”

\- “And then you’re the Impassive Imperial Murder Droid, and you make an overt emotional appeal when they’re expecting aggression from you.  Hit them in the feels!” 

“This is – exactly what I was looking for.  Thank you, Jyn.”

“Welcome.”

“K, you’re gonna slay them, you know that, right?”

“There is a 90% likelihood that that is just a figure of speech.  So I will proceed on that basis.  Thank you both for your input.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you can tell who says what, most of the time at least!  
> If anyone's interested, I did also prepare the text of K's speech. But it didn't really work to have him recite the whole thing to them, not least because some of it is repetition of things he says here.


End file.
